As the manager of our organization, I’ve often advised couples on managing their guest list, especially when there are external influences, like a well-meaning mother-in-law. The journey to marriage is an emotional roller coaster filled with precious moments and challenges that test your resilience. In fact, the main cause of conflict I’ve observed concerns the guest list.
If you and your partner desire a small and intimate wedding with close family and friends, the choir or Pilates friends of your mother-in-law can quickly become problematic. In such cases, I always recommend my clients to approach the situation with honest dialogue and kindness. Here are some strategies you can adopt:
Discuss budget constraints: If the guest list increases exponentially, the total cost will also increase. Creating a comparative budget spreadsheet with X and Y guests will help them realize the significant difference.
Explain the importance of having guests who play a role in your daily life as a couple.
If you are willing and able, make some concessions. Perhaps allow her to invite two or three couples to the dinner, or even more for the cocktail hour.
Balancing everyone’s wishes is a delicate task. However, with a little compromise and a win-win attitude, a satisfactory solution can be found.